After college, I noticed I was getting the same questions over and over from family members and their friends, “What will you do now?” or “Have you found a job yet?” One family member made a point of saying how when she was finished with high school, she already had kids and a husband set up.
Sometimes what comes off as reminiscing, can really be taken as criticism, so if you find yourself getting the same irritating questions, feel free to show that person this list of things not to say to someone who has just graduated! You can even learn from this list when talking to fellow graduates.
1. Do You Have A Job Yet?
Hold your horses! Graduating college doesn’t mean we’re going to graduate with a job! Instead of asking this person if they have a job yet, go with the more appropriate, “So what’s next for you?” It’s less likely to come across as a put-down if they don’t have a job or even a job offer yet.
2. How Much Money Do You Owe Now?
I understand that most people are just curious when they ask how much debt someone graduated college with, but we just graduated. We don’t want or need a reminder that we’re going to be paying back thousands of dollars forever and ever.
3. Why Did You Study That In College?
I don’t understand why some people choose to study art in college, but I’m not going to go up to them and ask them what they were thinking. There isn’t really a nice way to ask someone why they chose to study a particular subject or than maybe asking what job they are looking for.
4. What’s Your Life Plan?
Not only is this a huge question, it’s also not something a lot of grads feel good answering. Sometimes we don’t have it all figured out. Plans change, job interests change, etc. Focus on goals within a year instead.
5. Are You Still Living At Home?
Chances are if we’re living at home, it’s not something we’re psyched about. In a dream world, each grad would end up with their own place instead of driving back to mom and dad at the end of the day.
6. Are You In A Relationship Yet?
Am I the only one who seems to get this question on the regular from family members? Sometimes it feels like we’re reverting back to the 50s when women and men were supposed to graduate not just with a degree, but with a marriage proposal too.
7. You Should Have….
Ever hear the phrase, ‘Unsolicited advice is often taken as criticism?’ If you’re offering advice to someone who hasn’t requested it, it has a high chance of backfiring and being taken offensively.
8. Why Didn’t You….?
Again, this could be taken as criticism. We are doing the best we can with the knowledge we have. It is only natural for us to make mistakes – that is part of living life.
Everyone is different, and so are their lives. What might be good for one person may not necessarily be good for another. Everything will fall into place over time.