The Do’s & Don’ts Chatting It Up

Filed under: College Life - BookRenter Team
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By BookRenter Briana

By aaronisnotcool

In my experience of chatting it up with the opposite sex I have noticed certain do’s and don’ts, that you should consider the next time you see a “potential” at a bar or a party.  I know there are plenty I‘m missing so please feel free to add to the list so we can help some of those who are challenged in this area.

Don’t

Don’t Be Aggressive – There is a difference between being confident and being aggressive. Try being confident but also remember that it’s not all about you.  Make sure you listen as much or more than you talk. (Especially about yourself.)

Don’t Wear Too Much Perfume/Cologne – You’re obviously going to be close to someone when you’re trying to work your magic but don’t pound on the fragrance.  Stick to the basics like deodorant and gum.

Don’t Use Your Hands Without Permission – Even cheesy pick up lines are better than a slap on the cheeks. Not cool buddy, and highly inappropriate!

Do’s

Do Let the Compliments Flowing – Everyone likes to be complimented, and if you don’t your lying. But be casual about it; don’t go overboard with sappy stuff.

Do Play Hard to Get – If you’re talking to someone try and leave and come back. This gives that person the idea that you are not needy, but you’re still interested to come back and spark up another conversation.  No one likes a stage 5 clinger. This doesn’t mean leave mid conversation – that’s just rude.

Do Have a Wingman/woman – Make sure you have a distress code that you two will remember. I give me friends the wide eye. :-)

Be Smart – If you are looking to meet someone special keep the drinks to a minimum.

74 Responses to The Do’s & Don’ts Chatting It Up

  1. Christopher Banks says:

    I completely agree with this but guys remember one thing, the two C’s.. Confidence and Conversation :)

  2. Melinda Rogers says:

    lol great points!!

  3. Stephanie says:

    one more don’t: do NOT think you are Gods gift to the world…

  4. Amanda Florio says:

    great tips, I think that another one is to be yourself. Don’t try to hard but be honest and natural, think if they want to see you again you don’t want to have to worry about sticking to a plan or persona.

  5. Brandi cash says:

    Agreed. Just be yourself. It will save you trouble in the long run.

  6. Never…. ever touch a womans face!!

  7. Kathy says:

    Do avoid the hot wings at a bar. You want decent smelling breath when you approach someone.

    Do listen and be respectful. If the person says they’re not interested, don’t argue with them about why you’re a great catch. Dismissing them and disrespecting them is showing them just how much of a catch you aren’t.

  8. Vivian H says:

    Agreed on all points – especially the DON’T with the cologne overload.

  9. Ronalee Duncan says:

    Don’t bring up why you and your last boyfriend/girlfriend broke up

  10. Also try looking her in the eye and NOT over complimenting her. She knows your game!

  11. Mayra says:

    I completely agree with these tips. I mean everything is so common sense, we just forget everything when it comes to that second. Remember its about making a good impression not a bad memory!

  12. Jen L says:

    Totally agree with needing a wingman. You never know when you need to escape!

  13. Hope Burns says:

    Don’t interrupt a conversation I have with someone else.. No you can’t just jump in like you were there in the beginning. You just don’t belong in it.

  14. Natalie Ryder says:

    Don’t make it all about you!

  15. saminder gumer says:

    do take a shower and clean up before you go out.
    do brush your teeth and gargle with mouthwash.

    don’t be too aggressive.
    don’t be cheap.
    don’t make a fool of yourself.

  16. Jessica Dobbs says:

    Too much cologne is SO obnoxious!

  17. Jodi Wresh says:

    I especially agree with not wearing too much cologne.

  18. Krista Brewer says:

    When chatting up someone of the opposite sex DO look for positive or negative signals. If a woman or man is looking around the room and clearly isn’t paying attention, it’s time to move on! DON’T waste your time or the other person’s time. If a woman or man is genuinely smiling, inching closer, and giving playful pats on the arm, you’re in! Seal the deal when finishing your conversation by asking for his or her number.

  19. Kimberly F says:

    I agree with all of the above comments. Always be true to yourself no matter what:)

  20. Jenni says:

    Don’t pretend to be someone that you’re not.

  21. Dayla Culp says:

    I am so happy to be married and out of that game!!!

  22. zevah s says:

    i also agree with the above comments, and always remember honesty is the best policy:)

    • Heather says:

      Honesty is always the best policy. Otherwise you are just wasting everyones time :)

  23. Hayleigh says:

    Ugh. Cologne is terrible.

  24. robert waites says:

    Helpful.Thanks

  25. Billie Swafford says:

    This is some great advice — especially having the wingman/woman to back you up if you need help :) It’s always a great idea to keep the drinks to a minimum when in public, because most drunks make fools of themselves.. LOL

  26. Megan Q says:

    toally agree with the Do’s and Don’ts!

  27. celin capote says:

    I agree with all of the above comments

  28. Deborah Kubala says:

    Great tips, but be yourself. No one likes being played or lied to.

  29. Krista Brewer says:

    I can’t help myself. A couple more pointers for the guys-
    DO make a note of the woman’s name. Women aren’t stupid. We know why you keep calling us “sexy”, and “cutie”.
    DO speak to our faces. Our chests do not talk back.

  30. Jenn I. says:

    To guys:

    DON’T talk about how “hott” a girl is if you supposedly like me.

    DO buy me a drink. I’ll never turn that down =)

  31. Liz says:

    Don’t start endlessly talking about your life and the problems you’ve experienced in your past relationships with someone you hardly know or just met. Sometimes that turns off a “potential” bf/gf because they don’t want to date someone with so much baggage.

    Do make a couple good jokes to avoid any awkward silent moments. Everyone likes a person who can make them laugh :)

  32. Billie says:

    All the tips are great. Another one is, be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone that you’re not.

  33. Elizabeth says:

    Asking questions helps the person to know you are interested in them, and their story. You can also find out if you would be interested in who the person is, versus just their looks.

  34. Martina says:

    I do agree with the above statements–unless one of those people is an unwanted potential. The comments people are leaving are totally viable, because bars can get really creepy sometimes.

  35. Bonnie Sue says:

    If you are meeting someone for the first time. Do not tell them your entire life history!

  36. David says:

    Good stuff.

  37. Karlee says:

    Guys’ DO: be yourself and keep her laughing.
    Guys’ DON’T: being too forward. Make sure you back off a little and give her enough space to think and get to know the real you :)

  38. Melissa Fowler says:

    Great tips and i agree just be yourself.

  39. Me says:

    Uhm, are there any coupons out there?

    • BookRenter Team says:

      Check out our Facebook page Facebook.com/bookrenter
      Click on the coupon tab.

  40. Shannon Shumaker says:

    I concur but too much hard to get is not always the best way to be.

  41. KImberley W says:

    Pretty good do’s and dont’s! Would love to see how much changes the older the writer gets!

  42. Janene Scarborough says:

    Always be yourself, no one likes to find out later that you faked who you were…keep it real and if they don’t like you then so be it, I much rather know a person for real or just forget it.

  43. Michelle says:

    This is all so true! Always be yourself..dont change for anyone!

  44. michele malone says:

    :D

  45. Pingback: The Do's & Don'ts Chatting It Up | The Bookshelf | dos

  46. Shannon Mooney says:

    fun post!

  47. angie says:

    I love Coffee! gotta have my coffee in the mornings!

  48. Jamie S. says:

    sweet!

  49. Melissa Long says:

    Don’t know if I agree with “play hard to get.” I don’t like playing games.

  50. anita hamilton says:

    Just be true to yourself.

  51. Lis Phernetton says:

    all good points !

  52. Deborah Nagy says:

    Be sure to look people in the eye when you are talking to them or when you are listening to something they say.

  53. Nicole T says:

    Great tips!

  54. Kristen Grabeel says:

    I agree with everything in this post! What a fun post to read :)

  55. Susan Moore says:

    Be true to yourself. Don’t try to be something/someone that you aren’t, it may work out temporarily, but in the long run, it won’t last.

  56. Ellen says:

    Fun to read – very interesting :)

  57. Suzanne C. says:

    Very useful in real life! Thank you!

  58. Cheryl S says:

    Good points!

  59. Robin says:

    Sounds right to me. Be yourself and be safe.

  60. Joan says:

    i met my husband through the internet….so i am lucky in the sense i did not have to go through these do’s and don’ts….but it is always good to learn something new.

  61. Teneda says:

    I think there a lot more do’s and don’ts than what is listed. Let’s discuss it over coffee.

  62. Marylynn Hayes says:

    drink coffee and you won’t have to worry about it!

  63. Lisa says:

    Do have fun but be yourself and not someone who you think the other person wants. Don’t tell too much at the first meeting. Leave something to the imagination and definitely don’t give away all your secrets. Most of all – don’t expect anything at the first meeting or be too clingy…major turn off!

  64. Charee C. says:

    These are really good tips!

  65. cindy mohr says:

    attraction is key…nothin else matters if it’s not there to begin with :)

  66. lisa goff says:

    Everything above is so true!!! Another thing is Have Fun!!! Seeing someone laughing, animated, and enjoying theirself is Really Attractive. Some friends I hadn’t seen in a while went out one night and were having so much fun, doing what I mentioned above. It must have attracted attention because we got “hit on” more than usual!! We had a blast.

  67. Thanks for the great tips.

  68. JD says:

    great tips. Thanks

  69. BARBARA S says:

    Talking about your past is only interesting to you. and be a good listener–but really listen, don’t fake it

  70. Belinda says:

    And please watch your language. Correct English and no profanity helps make a good impression.